Michelle Monaghan and Ciaran Hinds also appear in this movie about a suburban dad whose secret past as an assassin catches up with him.

No one begrudges the rights of covert assassins to retire from their dangerous profession and start new lives as devoted husbands and fathers. But really, do they have to be the subjects of lame action comedies as well? The question comes to mind courtesy of the new Apple TV+ film starring Mark Wahlberg as, you guessed it, a former covert assassin who finds that leaving his past life behind isn’t as easy as he thought. Stretching its high concept but thin results to the breaking point, The Family Plan feels like a movie whose best moments were during the pitch meeting.

Dan who earnestly tells a customer, “It’s never too late to become the man you wanted to be,” clearly embraces his new identity. He’s an expert diaper changer, dutifully takes Jessica to the amusement park where they first met on every anniversary, and doesn’t mind that they have sex only on Thursdays. Everything seems to be going fine until he’s shopping in a supermarket with Max strapped to his chest and is violently attacked by a would-be killer whom he must fight off even while making sure no harm comes to his child. The resulting sequence proves both exciting and amusing, and marks the high point of the film, which basically runs the same joke into the ground over and over.

As the trip goes on, Jessica becomes turned on by the new, spontaneous Dan, who suddenly exhibits a newfound machismo and reveals that he knows not one but two foreign languages. But despite his best efforts, his pursuers eventually catch up with him and he’s forced to reveal his past as they all find themselves battling for their lives. No spoilers here, but the film’s motto seems to be “the family that kills together, stays together.”

Working from a screenplay by David Coggeshall that only occasionally proves mildly amusing, director Simon Cellan Jones proves unable to make either the comedic or action elements fully successful (although he makes sure to include the requisite shirtless scene for Wahlberg so we can admire how well he’s still taking care of himself). The actor, no stranger to comedy, does his familiar deadpan thing here to decent effect. But the real sparks are provided by Monaghan, who displays a winning enthusiasm for throwing herself into the physical aspects of her role as a wife and mother who discovers her inner badass. The terrific Maggie Q also briefly shows up as a character who seems to be one thing but then turns out to be quite another. Which is more than you can say about The Family Plan.